Saunter Along

Very little news today, very little going on. Spent some quality time with the family last night. Had a lovely time, except when my mother decided that I should have my blood sugar checked. I've been told for over a year that I probably have diabetes, I guess because of my weight. I shocked the critics when it came out quite normal. Of course, being inexperienced in stabbing my finger with a needle, it took three tries before I was able to produce enough blood for the damned test. Actually, I learned that when using the needle on your finger for the purposes of drawing blood for a sugar test, one does not stab ones' self, but rather, it is considered a lance. ( I swear to God, just look in the manual with the test kit. "Lance your finger..." )

The good news in all those health hijinks is that I also got myself weighed for the first time in almost 3 years. You see, when you step onto a scale and discover that you've reached the pinnacle of human fitness ( 355 pounds, to be precise ), you tend to act in a sane and healthy way whenever seeing a scale in the future. ( Like, for example, giving it the finger. ) However, since I'm on my crusade to have a waistline lower than my IQ, I decided I should give it a whirl.

First up was the ultra modern digital scale with LED readout. Folks, let me tell you something: When you step onto a scale, who's whole existence is to provide you with an accurate assessment of your gravitational quotient, and it responds by committing seppuku, you know you're a fatass. Actually, it just displayed a red E , which roughly translates the same. Reading the instructions on the bottom of the device clearly indicate that it has a weight limit of 300lb. Hmm, ok, so I haven't had any miracle weightloss of 56lb in the last few months. That's okay, I can hang with that.

Next up was old reliable, the analog scale with the rotating disc. After carefully calibrating my old-world relic, I noted that this scale only reads up to 280lb. Well, not to worry, because unlike these craptacular digital scales, an analog scale will keep on weighing after it wraps around zero. So, whatever my result, I just add 280.

With no further ado, my weight is now at 312. Not great by any stretch, as I still have over a hundred pounds to go, but at least I'm safely below my all-time high. Why, lose a few more pounds and maybe I won't be rejected by the digital demon! ( Yeah right, it'll find some other way to shun me. )

I've also been playing The Movies, and it's been pretty interesting. Just going through the regular mode for now, so that I can acquaint myself with the controls ( which are way too sluggish ). I'll saunter into the sandbox mode after I've pissed off enough of my stars by giving the best trailer to an extra. Hey, that's just how my studio rolls.